Sample work

Clearer information.
A clearer next step.

Two fictional examples show the deliverables, the changes, and the thinking behind them: clearer customer information and an email people can act on. Start with the before and after; expand the details for a closer look.

Fictional demonstration—not client work.

01 / Customer Information Review

Tide & Timber Workshop:
a clearer path to booking.

Problem
First-time attendees find conflicting prices and booking instructions across three pages.
Approach
Follow the customer’s path from understanding the class to finding the booking step.
Deliverable
Five prioritized recommendations and five related customer replies. The illustrated package includes one revision.

Before & after: make the next step visible

01 · High priority / Home & Classes

Put the booking route where visitors need it.

Before

“Drop in … just come along!”

Improved version

“Please book your place in advance. We can’t accommodate walk-ins.”

Decision: Replace the drop-in invitation on Home. Place a clearly labeled “Book a beginner class” link beside this wording, leading to the existing booking information on Classes. This makes the next step visible where visitors first encounter the offer.

Read the three source excerpts and fictional brief

The starting point: three pages, mixed signals.

Page 1 · Home

“Drop in and make something lovely. Beginner printmaking from $40. Everyone welcome—just come along!”

Page 2 · Classes

“Beginner printmaking is a two-hour session, $48 with materials included. For ages 16 and up. Advance booking is required.”

Page 3 · Visit & FAQ

“Find us upstairs in Studio 4 at Eastbank Arts Building. Our welcoming space is accessible to everyone. Plans change? No problem—get in touch about cancellations.”

Fictional facts used in this brief

  • The class costs $48 per person, lasts two hours, and includes all materials.
  • It is for beginners aged 16 and over. Advance booking is required; walk-ins cannot be accommodated.
  • With at least 48 hours’ notice, a booking can be moved once to another available class. Later cancellations cannot be refunded or moved. Refunds are not offered for cancellations.
  • Studio 4 is on the second floor of Eastbank Arts Building. Lift availability has not been confirmed.

These facts define the fictional brief. Lift availability remains an open question to resolve before using the copy.

See the remaining four recommendations and reasoning

Recommendations 2–5

02 · High priority / Home & Classes

Give one price and say what it covers.

Before

“Beginner printmaking from $40.”

Improved version

“Beginner printmaking · $48 per person. A two-hour class with all materials included.”

Decision: A single confirmed price replaces the misleading starting price. Including duration and materials helps someone assess the offer without searching another page.

03 · Important / Home & Classes

Be welcoming without obscuring the age requirement.

Before

“Everyone welcome.”

Improved version

“New to printmaking? You’re welcome here. This beginner class is for ages 16 and over.”

Decision: The welcome is preserved, while the eligibility requirement is stated directly. “Everyone” cannot accurately describe a class with an age restriction.

04 · Important / Visit & FAQ

Explain the cancellation policy before booking.

Before

“Plans change? No problem—get in touch about cancellations.”

Improved version

“Need to change your booking? With at least 48 hours’ notice, you can move it once to another available class. We don’t offer cancellation refunds. With less than 48 hours’ notice, bookings cannot be moved.”

Decision: Reassurance should not imply flexibility the business has not approved. Separate the transfer window from the refund rule, and retain the availability condition.

05 · Important / Visit & FAQ

Replace a broad access claim with known details.

Before

“Our welcoming space is accessible to everyone.”

Improved version

“You’ll find us in Studio 4 on the second floor of Eastbank Arts Building. If you need step-free access, please contact us before booking so we can confirm whether the space will meet your needs.”

Decision: The floor and studio are confirmed; lift availability is not. The wording gives useful information and a next step without claiming accessibility or compliance that has not been established.

Read the five related customer reply examples

Replies using the same information

“Can I just turn up?”

Thanks for your interest! Please book your place in advance. We can’t accommodate walk-ins, so you’ll need a confirmed booking before coming to class.

“What does the class cost?”

The beginner printmaking class is $48 per person. It lasts two hours, and all materials are included.

“Can my 14-year-old attend?”

Thanks for checking. This beginner class is for ages 16 and over, so it isn’t suitable for a 14-year-old.

“Can I cancel or move my booking?”

We don’t offer cancellation refunds. With at least 48 hours’ notice, you can move your booking once to another available class. With less notice, we can’t move it. Please send your class date and booking details so we can check the options.

“Is there step-free access?”

Thanks for asking before booking. The class takes place in Studio 4 on the second floor of Eastbank Arts Building. We haven’t confirmed lift availability yet. Please let us know what access information you need so we can check whether the space will meet your needs.

The complete review

Three source pages, five recommendations, and five reply examples are included above. One revision is included in the package. The business or its website administrator implements the changes; website implementation is separately scoped. The access question is flagged for confirmation.

Fictional demonstration—not client work.

02 / Business Writing & Editing

Juniper Table:
an email people can act on.

Problem
A café’s preorder announcement buries the deadline and leaves customers unsure when an order is reserved.
Approach
Lead with the action, name the dates, and separate an order request from confirmation.
Deliverable
A revised subject line and customer email, with editorial notes.

Before & after: put the decision first

Before · excerpt

“Subject: A quick update about next week”

“Please try to get your orders in by the end of the week … Sending the form doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve got one.”

After · excerpt

“Subject: June 12 bakery boxes: preorder by Friday at 2 p.m.”

“Your box is reserved only when you receive an order-confirmation email.”

The revised email

Read the full original draft and fictional brief

Fictional brief details

  • This announcement concerns Saturday, June 12, 2027 only.
  • Orders close Friday, June 11 at 2 p.m., or earlier if capacity is reached.
  • Customers submit orders through the café’s existing preorder form.
  • An order is reserved only after an order-confirmation email arrives.
  • Pickup is at the café counter on Saturday between 10 a.m. and noon. The café cannot hold boxes beyond noon.
See the editing decisions and tradeoffs
  1. Lead with the action. The subject line and first paragraph name the product, date, and order deadline. The explanation is organized around the reader’s next step rather than the café’s internal change.
  2. Make relative dates explicit. “Next weekend,” “the end of the week,” and “after that” become specific dates and times. This makes the message easier to understand if someone reads it later.
  3. Separate a request from a reservation. The confirmation requirement stays prominent. The edit does not turn a submitted form into a guaranteed order or promise a response time.
  4. Keep warmth; remove ambiguity. Short paragraphs and descriptive labels make the message easier to scan. The pickup limit stays firm without the vague warning “when they’re gone they’re gone.”

Ready for the business’s final checks

The revised subject line and email preserve the deadline, capacity condition, confirmation requirement, and pickup window. Before use, the business would check the dates and link “preorder form” to its actual ordering page.

Let’s make the next step clearer.

Tell me where customers get stuck or everyday work gets tangled. We’ll find a useful place to start.